Top 10 Things in Japan We Should Still Be Surprised At

10. Higher out from the cave

Instead of a cavemen technology of SMS (short message), smart Japanese people taught me not only to use e-mail message on cell-phones but also a special high-tech (there is no hint on something like this at home): take pic of a tiny black-n-white code on your cell-phone camera and in a second get a link on a map of a restaurant or a shop – clear wonders, don’t u think?! J

9. Warm solitude

Will never forget how my Russian friend literally jumped up and ran out from a little hotel bathroom with admiring exclamations like: “They even there take care of people?!”

8. Fashinister’s Joy

Wanna be “kirei” (beautiful) or “kawaii” (cute)? Add some stars, hearts, sprangles, flowers, smiles, dates, signs – anything you will have your imagination on for 3-5 minutes! With all their estrangement, Japanese people love to take pictures in purikura (from “Print Club”, the first trademark of instant photo booths in Japan) for memory of any eventJ

7. Dating Paradise

Sky building in Osaka, Tokyo tower, Kyoto Love Shrine (near Kiomizudera), Spa World, Sweet Paradise in Kyoto, neko/inu (cat/dog)-café, etc… Don’t forget to pull omikuji (fortune scroll = 200 yen), write ema (your wish to Shinto gods should be very concrete – with names, dates and your home address as wellJ), take a picture on the panoramic background and buy a medal with an inscription of your sweet date – who knows, may be the routine of the marriage won’t give you another romantic opportunity?^^

6. Hilarious Japanenglish

Read and enjoy;)

5. Protecting the likes of us

I don’t know how you, my American and European friends, feel about safety in Japan, but I’m so scared… of coming back to my far from being a perfect society to live in – Russia, for we don’t have either lady-only weekdays morning trains, or against maniac-propaganda. Besides, I’m not sure that I’m going to wear y ultra-short Japanese-like skirts at home…

4. On the guard of silence

On the streets after 22:00, in the train, in temples and shrines, even in toilets – there is a special button with a fake splash so that you won’t embarrass and destroy the silence of people around. The walls of the houses are cardboard-like, so if you need to give yourself up to passions and love – it’s thought of beforehand: lovehotel. No-no, you privacy will be protected for sure: you choose the picture of the room, push the button with the number, put money on the windowshelf and go aheadJ

3. Between Scilla and Haribda

Japanese people are often characterised as being too shy, reserved, indirect and dependent, so we, Westerners, are supposed to change our used way of communication. However, studying in Kansai Gaidai University under American teachers’ tutoring, I have understood that we, Eastern Europeans/ Russians, are quite in between Asian and Western extreme attitudes and styles of communication. For example, it was kind of wild for me how informal the relationships between a student and a teacher occurred to be in the American system of education, and how fastidious to their teacher and free to argue everything American students are.

I would never think that eating, drinking coffee in the classroom, being half-class period late, coming to school in pyjama, calling a teacher with an authoritative tone might be considered okay. Hmm, in this case – I am happy to be in between American and Japanese systems of respect towards seniors.

2. “Panda” syndrome

No, it’s not a cute Asian bear – it’s a special term for both – us, foreign short-term exchange students and them – Japanese gaijin-hunters (excluding really devoted friends), wo behaves as if they are best friends forever, but in a real situation – it’s all cultural assumptions (rules of the game, learnt by both sides of communication, Befu). Personally I’m very bad at reading people, so my understanding of who is “panda” who is not has gone some stages. In fall, I thought that I had never had soooo many good friends, in winter, when everybody happened to be too busy to pay me that much attention; I’ve realized that I could hardly count my real friends on one hand’s fingers. But further, I looked around and found a great amount of nice people, and except that - a just right number of real best friends – from all over the world, by the way.

1. Different flaw of time – how so?

Trains are always on time; Japanese people are always extremely busy, only me – however hardly I tried, I am never on time. And it’s not in my nature, no-no. Before coming to Japan, I used to be before an appointed time all the time. What has happened to time? Well, anyways for now, while I’m late in Japan – I have my personal justification: there are 5 more hours till our meeting according to the Russian FederationJ

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No doubts, there are thousands of things we should never get used to here, in magnificent, charming, moss-covered old and shining newly-built dear Japan. Keep encouraging yourself to find new tiny things to wonder and surprise every day – then our life will become richer of impressions, and our understanding of the world and each other will be smoother and lot of fun. Like I had for those 9 months in Japanese Paradise.

My Fashionable Endeavours in Kansai Gaidai

Last Sunday, when I went to Umeda (shop-district in Osaka) with my friend Miho from Tokyo – I bought very stylish to my mind glasses – a little bit reminding the fashion of the 60-s… Full of enthusiasm and this consumerist’s happiness of a newly-bought stuff, I ran into the lounge, full of my American and Canadian friends, expecting  all kinds of those well-assimilated Japanese-like admire and exclamation kinds: “Kawaii!” - but I never got either oneL On the contrary, my endless, inspired by black-n-white movies affection to retro-fashion was critiqued utterly by my Western friends, while among my Japanese ladies of taste I managed to have success. Is the fashion (while being such an international thing) that much different between East and West too?

you will hardly see this kind of jeans in Japan

You may sign out, my pretty readers – of course, the fashion is very globalized and glocalized (borrowed but assimilated for a local culture) nowadays. However, it’s the understanding of beauty and modesty – what differs pretty noticeably here and there. I don’t want to sound orientalist (Edward Said’s unpleasant sense of this word) and create a fabulously different image of Japan, but the idea of beauty here is closer to what we, Westerners call “cuteness”, “prettiness”, while oversees – especially in the liberalized States – the beauty seems to be associated with words like “hot”, “sexy” and “seducing”… This idea might be proved by the scene we observe every day in KG - Japanese girls experience very many styles of clothing, but they are not tend to demonstrate their bodies the way Westerners used to do to attract sexually.

Such loose and pale clothes reminds me of kimono

Kimono Echo

The way I look at Japanese society, connecting every contemporary social issue with the traditional thinking from long ago might be annoying and banal, but I can’t get rid of the idea that loose, gentle, spring-like light shirts and one-piece dresses on girls and many-layered clothes on guys have something to do with kimono fashion, which is (thanks kamisama) still very much “alive” in Japan not only on special occasions, but subconsciously - in casual clothing as well. So, nothing is tight or too bright but modest and stylish is the first law of looking pretty here.

Lost in Self-Expression                          Only walking around Kansai Gaidai you may notice how broad the choice of styles in the modern Japanese world of clothing. According to my observations the top three styles are: light hippy (straw hats, long skirts, head band, light brown accessories and leather sandals), sweet tomboy (jeans overalls, funny boots, tiny hat) and cute Lolita (light extremely short skirt, blouse, ribbons) + native American theme, Audrey Hepburn-like 60-s fashion, etc… The foreigners who have not spent that much time in Japan to buy a fashion magazine and to travel deep into provincial towns would be pleased by the creativity of the Japanese youngsters, being so into world history. But some of my international friends complained that Japanese people don’t seem like know or are interested in more than just the way they cover their body in a “kawaii” and stylish way. They just get a certain amount of image-packs from the Internet or fashion magazines, so ironically they have to swim with the flow of everybody trying to distinguish themselves, without thinking too deep of what their style really means…

Manly Men

Whole attention on boots, please:)

Why are young men in Japan concerned about their appearance so much? They wear various kinds of pullovers, shirts (sometimes with funny signs in broken EnglishJ), shoes (oh, that’s the way the conquered my heart!) and a great deal of different kinds accessories. The material and colours often don’t differ from the girls’ ones, and actually strictly speaking, male fashion seems quite feminine – why? Is it the fault of overcaring and love from parents, called “amaeru” again?

We don’t know. But the fact that the majority of them really cares too much about their appearance (even pull their eyebrows out and take care of a hairstyle almost all the time) might be saying about the collectivistic nature of the Japanese society. Okay, I’ll explain. When you put on pyjama to a school in the Western countries – you are talking for yourself only: I’m just out of bed, I’ve studied yesterday night too hard, I’m going to school to get knowledge but not to show off in a brand-new clothes, etc… While in Japan, whenever and wherever a Japanese person goes – he/she represents or his/her family group, or his/her school, or his/her club, etc – anyways, it’s closely-knitted island hierarchical society, just accept it.

Time to Throw the Rocks…

According to that table, Japanese young people have only some 4 or 5 college student-years for freely expressing themselves, without wearing compulsory dark and identical uniforms. Thus, however little they would think about their styles – it’s already great step to developing unique and independently-thinking identity, which is craved so much nowadays.

Love Rules in Japan

Finally, the spring is asserting itself, the Japanese freshmen gaidaisei (Kansai Gaidai University students) are occupying campus and CIE (Centre for International Education’s lounge), and the local shops have started selling sun-protecting hats and gloves…

So, one day I found myself sitting in the Japanese-styled garden on campus, observing Japanese couples billing and cooing now and then – and I asked myself what’s the difference in building love relationships between Japanese and Western attitudes?

The same day by mere chance my new project for the speaking Japanese class happened to be a real survey, we should make among 15-20 young Japanese students and present in front of other gaikokujin (foreign students) classmates.

Thus, my topic has been made up: “若い日本人のデート習慣“(“The Dating Habits of the Young Japanese”).

Where would they meet a partner-to-be in Japan? How do they usually express their affection? Would they consider their parents’ opinions about their complementary half? What is “cheating” for them? Those and other questions were asked to 18 students – both 9 men and 9 women. And here we go – let’s make conclusions together.

 

Vegetarians and of their ilk…

borrowed from: http://matome.naver.jp/odai/2129343674521498001/2129344335621625403

It’s quite well-known that they have two main types of daters in Japan – “vegetarians” and “meat-eaters”. If the first ones are shy, reserved, not able to hunt on a partner-to-be, then, consequently, those of the meat-eaters ilk are very enthusiastic, but at times noisy, fussy and annoying. So, as we see, both types clearly leave much to be desired. And the answers of my interviewees happened to be 50/50%: about 80% of girls identify themselves with vegetarians and 86% of guys – meat-eaters respectively. Here my courteous readers might think that the survey of mine is not interesting at all, but let’s not hurry with conclusions and be patient – what if my Japanese interviewees would lie to us first? Let’s see…

Where to find a Japanese love to live happily-ever after?

Oh, well… To start talking about the way Japanese people deal with their complementary halves, we need to find a subject of our affection, right? According to my 18 Japanese girl-friends, you may meet Him while walking along the street, or at some of your common friends’ parties (per 10% - each), but most likely – in your Kansai Gaidai or wherever you study (over 50%). As for our claiming themselves肉食系 (meat-eaters) guys – the circle of choice comes to nothing else but school acquaintances (78%) and sometimes – karaoke and party in big companies (about 10% each). 

Thus, our conclusion #1: don’t expect from most Japanese guys to come in to a girl on the street or at the place, which is not overcrowded with your common friends.

How to express romantic feelings overflowed my heart, in Japan?

So, having succeeded (about to fall apart) in meeting our destiny, we should show how much we are glad to be together, right? By what means do they do it in Japan? My 6 Japanese male interviewees out of 9 found out that the easiest way to make their promised fiancées happy is to take them to some interesting place. And here, we, spoilt by Hollywood housewives movies would admire Japanese men being so romantic (Osaka sky-building, neko (full of kawaii cats)-café, USJ (Osaka’s Disneyland-like), etc.)… 

But here I have to disappoint you – no flowers, no poems, no gifts without reasons, according to my Japanese female-friends. Actually, there is nothing to be surprised of, for there is nothing like Western knight culture of conquering a lady in Japan – so where would the romantic courtship tradition appear from? As for girls, 5 from 9 would make some obento (lunch-box) or “His favourite okashi (sweets)”, although there was one nice guy who would make onigiri (rice balls) for his girlfriend as wellJ. This girls’ answer could be explained very clearly too – Japanese culture dictates that a woman needs to cook, take care of a husband and kids and generally learn how to be a good housewife from a very young age.

 Conclusion #2:

be ready to meet a real samurai, so being a real geisha is strongly recommended

Do you listen to your parents’ opinion about the girl/guy, you’ve chosen in Japan?

The world today is globalized enough for such questions to be answered the same way in any country, you would guess, yawning and closing this page… But again no! Japan is not “topsy-turvy”, of course, but even my tiny research managed to show some striking difference. So, according to it, while girls would not talk (and actually listen) to their parents (and may be elder siblings as well?) that much (only 3 women of 9), 6 men out of our 9 super aggressive meat-eaters do depend on their elders’ opinion.

 Conclusion # 3:

study the concept “amae” (to indulge kids, esp. men) (Doi, Nakamura) so that to understand this tight connection between parents and children in Japan, and you might find out the real origin of 菜食系 (vegetarians) men, who are springing up all over…  

What is “cheating” for enamoured youngsters in Japan?

borrowed from: http://ameblo.jp/chikurappo2/theme-10010846775.html

 The question of “cheating” and “being jealous” might be seen as a very interesting issue, especially, if studied along with the different views on touching in Asian and Western cultures. Anyways, without dipping so deeply, we’ve got 3 finalists, real meat-eater – who wouldn’t let their halves even just go out without them. Other 6 guys wouldn’t tolerate their lovers hugging and kissing someone else. As for the girls – there is only one very jealous lady, who considers just going out as cheating and wouldn’t give her partner enough space…

それにしても、concluding our survey, we have to admit that (although male representatives of Japanese society want to be seen as strong and independent samurai-like肉食系(meat-eaters), the modern reality demonstrates the opposite – a growing number of 菜食系…                                    

Just to clear the issue up, this tendency might be connected with the rising number of strong women as well – even “dorama” (usually romantic Asian series) do kind of propaganda of a Western-like business lady or an independent in terms of relationships woman type. 

The Japanese language gave birth to a lot of new words, supporting women’s “fighting-for-equal-rights-spirit” in the nowadays Rising Sun society:

otenba – in English “tomboy”, generally applies to healthy and active young girls; or, otoko-masari – a woman who is superior to men physically, spiritually, and intellectually…

  

Observing this whole situation with switching gender roles in Japanese society, we, Westerners might be thrown into the depth of despair for both – Japanese males and females, but what would the Japanese representatives say themselves? Personally, I am not sure that the country with a long tradition of careful treating everyone around would be very happy to raise a new generation to be so manly, aggressive, selfish and arrogant, as we are pretty often. So, may be it’s not so much of a problem to be loyal, quiet, obedient and nice? 

borrowed from: http://www.cinematoday.jp/page/N0012262

取りあえず、十人十色^^

Used and Recommended Resources:
1) the film "Japanese Tradition: Dating" (4 parts, downloaded from YouTube)

2) very interesting book - "The Japanese Mind", Rojer J. Davies, Osamu Ikeno (sold in KG campus bookstore, about 2000 yen, worth it :)